At least that is the prevailing narrative following Travis Kelce’s congratulations to Hailee Steinfeld and Josh Allen on their engagement.
Steinfeld leans down and presses her forehead against Allen’s in a joint Instagram post from Friday. Cylindrical candles surround the pair, while the ocean serves as the backdrop.
The couple captioned their photo with “♾️ 11•22•24 ♾️,” but did not explicitly state their engagement status. USA TODAY has reached out to the couple’s representatives for comment.
Kelce’s “congratulations” comment, which included three exclamation points and four emojis, infuriated many Instagram users.
As of Monday morning, the comment had nearly 14,000 likes and more than 200 responses, with many speculating that he’ll be the next one engaged to girlfriend Taylor Swift. “You next,” one commenter wrote. “Your move, bro,” another remarked.
However, pressuring someone to become engaged, married, or take any major romantic step is not a beneficial idea, especially since marriage is not for everyone.
According to research, marriage is steadily declining in the United States, and a 2019 report found that three out of ten people consider it unimportant.
“For decades, people have been exploring less traditional forms of relationship style,” Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert, and author of “The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life,” told USA TODAY.
“Societal attitudes toward cohabitation have improved, and we are becoming more accustomed to diverse familial paradigms. We are gradually realizing that there is no one-size-fits-all way to be in relationships.”
Why we judge those who don’t want to get married
Despite the fact that well-intentioned people frequently put pressure on people to marry, those who refuse face social stigma. Any move Swift and Kelce make, especially without rings on their fingers, draws additional scrutiny.
This is because “generally, our society operates in fear when we cannot fit people into clearly defined categories.”
“So when they don’t fit into a neat box, we resort to judging them,” explains Weena Wise, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist.
Traditional marriage has long been regarded as the ideal life structure, providing companionship, security, and the best way to raise children. According to experts, this is not always the case.
Instead, many people have a romanticised view of what marriage is supposed to be like. They believe that marriage is simple and easy, without understanding the reality.
“Marriage can be seen as a goal accomplished that no longer requires effort, which couldn’t be further from the truth,” Hall points out. For this reason, “it’s all too common in long term relationships and marriages that couples stop trying and take each other for granted.”
When couples wait to get married
Hall stated that, contrary to popular belief, proposing and marrying is not required to maintain a loving relationship. In fact, it does not demonstrate your love for your partner either.
“We all want to feel desired and appreciated, especially by our partners, so there’s something very romantic about consciously choosing someone day after day, rather than just seeing one’s relationship partner as a given,” she shares.
Wise continues, “I applaud individuals who avoid the marriage matrix and avoid marrying too soon or for the wrong reasons. You can still be perfectly happy or in a healthy relationship without getting married.
Not to mention that while traditional marriages work for some, everyone’s definition of a successful, long-term relationship is different.
Swift and Kelce, both in their mid-30s, have been through the relationship rodeo before. They will most likely engage if and when they are on solid (holy) ground.